Timeless Advice for a Peaceful Life

So I wrote this piece way back to start 2010 and now over 6 years later, I find it as useful now as it was then. So I’m sharing it here for you fine folks, I hope you enjoy!
Drop me a comment at the end!
2010!

So ok 2010 is here, SO WHAT? What does it mean? Well as with the rising of the sun on each new day, it means the chance for a fresh start. This year is for the fulfillment of BIG DREAMS, not everyone will live or have lived to see this new year……

so shouldn’t we be glad that we have this opportunity to live the life we want to live? These are our best years or so everyone keeps telling us but it won’t be unless we make it…..

2009 was not really the best year or my life but it was the year of the most personal GROWTH. If it’s one thing I learned from 2009, it’s that all those stupid sounding clichés are founded on probably the greatest life lesson there is……

CARPE DIEM…….. LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT’S YOUR  LAST…………. TODAY IS A GIFT……..corny, isn’t it?

But let’s be honest, the happiest times you’ve had in your life, were u ever thinking about the past or the future? I’m sure u weren’t cause I know when I look back on my happiest memories I sure as hell was not thinking about anything but that moment.

If you haven’t seen THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS then u need to buy the DVD or something because its amazing how that story inspires me….

the guy was destitute, no money, a kid to look after, no home to sleep in, but he still went to the internship that he begged for that paid NO money and worked his ASS off putting up with an intolerable boss……..

Y?……because he had a dream and he knew he had to work to get it and there is no better day than TODAY………that’s right this very moment could be the start of the rest of your life………….

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING….sounds familiar?…..it’s been said before…… many times………let me give u an example………

I HATE washing wares………like HATE it ……….but then one day I just went over and washed them….nobody was pressing me to wash them and it didn’t thrill me to wash them but they had to be washed……..

I realized a little later that even when someone has the power to make u do something even if u don’t really want to do it, if u do it willingly or at least accept that you have to do it and one day you’ll not have to follow commands it will be smooth and easy…….

now don’t get me wrong ……I don’t mean be a pushover, au contraire, stand up for yourself and your dreams but when u know something has to happen, no matter how unpleasant, if it has to happen, if you have to do it before you can do what you want to do, as long as it’s legal, JUST DO IT!……..I’m sure NIKE knew how profound their slogan was….lol……..but even if u don’t have to do it, if it won’t hurt anyone then why not just do it WILLINGLY.

WILLINGLY……………for a long time (when I was younger of course) I saw that word in the Bible, I’m not sure which passage but I saw it, and for a long time I could not grasp the concept, but this past year I finally understand completely what it means……….

It goes back to attitude and is the best thing I could have realized in my life….so all u folks out there with bad attitudes……..your life will never look up until you perk up……hahahaha doesn’t that sound grand!

So now that I’ve covered that there is one more thing I’d like to leave you all with…. A CLEAN MIND AND A PURE HEART……….whoa! What girl ………….when u get so spiritual…..hahaha I always was but we’ll discuss that later……….

You know when people say if u take your prayers to god with a clean mind and a pure heart your prayers would be answered….did u know that its true?……..

Well you don’t always get what u want but you will realize that what you think you want is not really what you need or what’s best for you……..that’s when you’ll find a spiritual peacefulness or contentment with life……….

When u can look into your own body, mind and soul and listen carefully and harmonize with them……………that’s when you would know what you need and that’s when you’ll realize that you’ll always have exactly what you want……….because you’ll have peace of mind…….. and actually that’s the only thing we all really want……………PEACE OF MIND!

Well that leaves only now my wishes for everyone for this new year and beyond…….A GREAT ATTITUDE…………..GREAT HEALTH………..A CLEAN MIND……A PURE HEART………..CONTINUED SELF IMPROVEMENT……….SUCCESS IN LIFE AND LOVE……….FINANCIAL STABILITY…………..HAPPYNESS

………… AND …… PEACE OF MIND!!!

Happy 2010!!!

Happy Life!

Shoulders Back!

Chin up!

Chest Out!

BE AWESOME!!!

Love,

~~~Ms Abby Kay~~~

The Gods are Cruel

Surrounded by clouds in blissful abandonment
A smile in your heart and warmth in your soul
Safe in the stare, seduced by the lips
Yesterday, Tomorrow, not even today exists

A mistake, a failure, a moment of disgrace
A look, a kiss, a laugh, an embrace
No bad no hurt no deceit no lie
Just something gone wrong, an imperfection , a cry

Things just happen no good no bad
Just one soul acting as two
Discovering, loving and feeling anew

But be careful with your wish for the Gods are cruel

How passionate are you ?

I started reading a book called fight for your dream. In the book you are encouraged to discover yourself and your passion. Now while this activity isn’t new to me, I decided to try and actually answer each question.

With each question and the introspection required to answer it, I find myself consumed with emotion. Emotions because I want it so bad because I think about not having gotten there yet and not seeing a clear path to get there it yet I’m absolutely convinced that I must get it, that my spirit will never find true peace without it.

The first time I felt such passion for a dream, it scared me. It scared me because I know that there is no way that I could just get it…. Life doesn’t work like that, life tests you…. And trying to achieve a dream is one of its biggest tests. Things happen that threaten to destroy your spirit, it threatens to destroy your beliefs and your resolve. It is how we face these threats that ultimately decides if we are worthy of not just achieving our dreams but holding on to it.

Now there are many things that can keep us back from what we desire, maybe it wasn’t meant for us, maybe we didn’t want it as badly as we thought, maybe we meet an untimely death, maybe our desires change with time and experiences. But how will we feel if what we want is denied to us because of us?

This is why I ask HOW PASSIONATE ARE YOU? Are you willing to face the challenges, fight the odds, dedicate the time effort and energy it requires? Are you willing to face your family and friends trying to encourage you to do something more ‘practical’?

Most importantly, are you willing to fight yourself for your dreams? Face your inner demons? Stifle your doubts? Wrestle with your fears? Go to war with your weaknesses?

Are you willing to take the time to nourish your strengths or grow your mind? Are you willing to set aside your ego and arrogance to empty yourself of what you think you know to become what you need to become?

This book I mentioned earlier highlighted my greatest fear. It said you need to find out what your next dream will be otherwise you are sentencing yourself to a life of mediocrity.

Living a mediocre life terrifies me because MEDIOCRITY IS THE DEATH OF GREATNESS!

So how passionate are you? Are you going to live each day filled with passion and pursuing your dreams or are you going to be just another walking dead?

You know my words…
Chin up
Chest out
BE AWESOME!

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Love
~~~Ms Abby Kay ~~~

The Painted Smile

You ever wake up in tears? Shivering, sobbing from a pain you carry around every day….. From a heart so heavy yet so empty you wonder how it’s still beating.

Ever curl up in a ball and sob? Till you’re gasping for air but more out of reflex than survival?

Do your dreams ever reflect your unexpressed emotions? Like paying some sweet young soul to play torturous heavenly music, where he’s in the open air while you’re behind stained glass, trapped in a room sitting on a stair feeling your breath tighten. Knowing, your spirit is off drifting, trying to find the freedom and serenity of the music but leaving your body behind….. Empty

Ever wish you could let everyone know that you’re empty and lost and need their love and hugs and support but you know it won’t work. Because you don’t want to share with them the black hole that’s consuming you…. They can’t stop it, they can’t fill it. With them for a minute you forget but you’re not truly happy…. In fact you’re angry, subtly angry… Not at them but it lashes out behind them and you can’t stop it. You want to apologise but it’s just words because it keeps happening… It’s not their fault, it’s the black hole… It destroys any happiness that comes close to you now. You feel trapped. Trapped in despair and devastation. Isolated on all sides from light and life and joy and love.

Ever feel like that?

Nah, neither me.

Trying to make it

When you grow up financially challenged, seen so your parents struggle to keep it all together. Struggle to keep you fed, struggle to pay the bills, struggle to pay the rent.

When you know their dream is to own their own home and felt it so strongly it became your dream too. 
When you grow up and you start facing the same struggles but you’re convinced that you can do better.

So you study hard, mainly because your parents worked their asses off so that you could. You get a good job, you try to save.

But at every turn, every single time you start to feel like you’re up….. Something just has to come around and knock you back down.

Every time!  And it happens to almost everyone you know well. Yet there are so many others who just seem to be getting through just a little bit better than you. Hell who am I kidding, they are getting through a hell of a lot better than you.

You feel a heaviness, a burden on your shoulders….. All the damn time. Or so it seems.

You’re ready to give up. Seems like the world has turn it’s back on us.

Well SCREW YOU, WORLD!!  Challenges gonna have to turn around and look you in your face soon enough. Because you will NEVER give up! 

That feeling, that defeated feeling….. It’s just for now because the shit is getting hard again and the challenges are piling up.

But you had so many moments when you felt blessed beyond comprehension….. Blessed because you had family who would never see you sick or hungry or even lonely. Blessed because your friends never let you stay down for long and because they sometimes believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

Blessed because you can help out your family even when you are struggling yourself. And even though you wish you could do more, be more, have more….. As long as you remember that you are blessed to be surrounded by love and have a plate of food and some kind of shelter…… Everything else gonna fall into place.

You just gotta keep working towards it without forgetting all your blessings.

Count your blessings
Be someone’s blessing
Receive more blessings

Make that a cycle and you gonna make it…… This too shall pass!

Love,
Ms Abby Kay

Shoulders back,
Chin up,
Chest out,
BE AWESOME!

Female sexuality; Rape; Murder; Carnival

I wanted to stay silent on this issue. I wanted to ignore what was happening. I wanted to remain uninvolved politically in such a touchy subject.

But I couldn’t.

I am a woman after all, and I do have to live in a society where these issues are prevalent and these opinions given places of authority.

Let me shed some light.

Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago has just been concluded. Most citizens and visitors are on a high from the euphoria they just experienced.

Carnival is Bacchanal…. Or so the song says.

Carnival is colour and mas and WOMAN!

Almost every soca and party song played is dedicated to women and their figures and the gyrating movements performed with their hips.

Carnival is a catharsis….. A time of release from everyday stress…. A time to own and celebrate your sexuality…. The only time celebrating your sexuality is not only allowed but encouraged.

This year, after Carnival news broke that a female masquerader was found dead around the savannah.

Ok, another dead body….. Sad and unfortunate but I’m sorry to say the nation would probably not have been in outrage if it wasn’t for the prompting from the Port of Spain Mayor Mr Tim Kee.

You see this misguided gentleman made a statement urging women to take responsibility for their lewd and vulgar conduct.

Now, in essence he is correct in cautioning women against such behaviour.

Now the nation is up in arms and most feminists and women’s rights activists are calling for his removal as the mayor of the capital city.

Now before I give my opinion I will simply make statements.

Women have the right to behave in any manner they wish provided that it is legal.

Women also have the responsibility to ensure that they don’t unnecessarily place themselves in risky situations.

Men do NOT have the right to rape or kill ANYONE.

The mayor did NOT say that the woman was behaving in a lewd or vulgar manner. Neither did he say that she ‘look for that’

Trinidad and Tobago’s culture and Carnival Festivities encourage somewhat vulgar behaviour by women.

A woman was just killed enjoying our cultural Festivities when our Mayor of POS made insensitive comments which led the public to believe/infer that he blamed this woman’s untimely demise on her presumed conduct during said festivities.

The Mayor does not know this woman personally and could not know what her conduct was like during these Celebrations.

The woman, it was revealed, was a Japanese national who came to play pan (our national instrument). She does this yearly.

The mayor’s statement can now potentially cause the country international embarrassment.

Now for my opinion.

This would have been tricky for me because I do believe that we as women should take caution and act responsibly so as not to attract any dangers.

Of course this ranges from displays of eroticism (unless that’s what you do for work) to travelling in groups to having at home security systems, especially if living alone.

However, noone has the right to sexually force themselves on another person, despite what conduct that person displays.

And further we do not know how this woman was enjoying the carnival as most of us do not know her personally or saw her on the road.

Let’s go further, as a society we have failed when our men believe that they can commit acts violently against our women. We have also failed when our politicians instead of condemning the perpetrators of these acts, make insensitive statements against female sexuality.

As a politician, Mr Tim Kee, I don’t believe you meant to associate lewd sexual conduct as the cause of this lady’s death but I do believe you should have known better.

Now Mr Tim Kee you have some work to do. If you don’t want to step down, you need to now go on a campaign to re-educate men about their responsibility to control themselves in the presence of beautiful women.

You good sir need to convince the public and female sexual victims that you are not slut shaming them, especially without knowing their individual situations.

The issue of female sexuality is one where education is sorely lacking.

Look out for my story with my brush with sexual prejudice for the past Carnival season.

Please share your comments and opinions below.